Tuesday, October 23, 2012

30 Weeks, 3 Days - I Feel Like I'm Dying...

...no not really.  Well, yeah...really.  Sometimes.  This has been a new discovery.  By "This," I'm referring to the effects of low blood sugar.  At least, that's what I think it is.  However, I forgot to report this to my Physician's Assistant at Mayo Clinic earlier this month.  Oops.  Forgetting is a common occurance these days (Thank goodness for smart phones!  My virtual friend "Siri" really helps me record my appointments and reminders on my iPhone, and then the phone alerts me to them on the day, or whenever I leave or arrive somewhere.  Super cool tool.).

Yeah so...if I don't eat on the regular, and/or ignore my body's signals to feed it, then the body simply decides it'll just begin to shut down (Who told my body to do that?). It acts like it's using its "powersave" feature or something.  I guess this is to protect my battery, I mean my power source, I mean my body, so that it doesn't turn off all of a sudden.  ...I experienced this about 3 weeks ago while driving.  Yeah, kind of scary.  All my body kept telling me was to stop everything and go to sleep.  But I'm driving!!  Luckily, my brain knew I needed fuel and I just needed to park my car so I can pull out my chicken salad and eat.  Just pull in and park the car, Shellie.  You can do it.  You can make it.  ...I made it.  (Thank You God for Your patience and grace towards this "hard head" of Yours.)  Eating those first few bites of that chicken salad was like someone doing CPR on me.  I felt like I was being revived - brought back to life.  That's how it feels, for real...

It happened again when picking up my kids from the airport the other day.  And it happened yesterday and this morning too.  ... Do I detect a pattern here?...   Forgive me.  Like I said, my brain processes things a lot slower nowadays.  It's working, but it just takes a little longer to pull things together and spit it out. But I just ate a couple of hours ago!?! 

For some reason, my body cannot cope without enough glucose.  Duh.  Neither does it have time or energy to give a warning when my blood sugar levels are low. (Or maybe I'm just not aware of the early warning signs yet).  If I need to eat or rest, and I don't when I first feel the need to, it's already too late.  No grace period.  Eat or die.  That's how it feels.  Different?  Weird?  Alarming?  Yep.

I hope this "low-blood-sugar-self-diagnosis" experience is just the chemo talking and nothing new going on for real...

Right now as I type, I feel woozy.  My finger tips are slightly numb - my tongue too.  And I feel exhausted. (It's only 12:25 pm).  I better stop and lie down.  No not that.  Not yet. That's what I want to do.  But I need to eat first.  If I don't eat before I lie down, I may never get up.  I may die there. That's how it feels.  I better eat first.  Ok. Stop typing and eat, Shellie.  Ok... Bye...

2 comments:

  1. Ohmigosh girl, you and I have a lot in common! You are the second leukemia survivor that I have "met" who also has Hep C. We should compare notes--seriously. And the next time I come out to Scottsdale to go to Mayo we should try and meetup too. I wish I could have done my treatment at Mayo, but it's too far away from L.A. Thanks for coming by Oh My Aches and Pains!

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  2. OH Shell Bell I am so grateful for your transparency and willingness to share this - I will be praying for you and keeping you lifted up - know if you need anything just holler and if you don't need anything I love you

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