Wednesday, August 29, 2012

22 Weeks, 4 Days: A Foreign Habit...

It's been a while since I posted. I hadn't forgotten about y'all... Thanks for your patience!

I'm almost halfway through treatment! Yeah! AND... I'm pretty worn out this week. I've been running on low since school started, really.

Now, I AM trying to make decisions that better take care of myself. ... It's hard. ... When you have a personality like mine (recovering perfectionist; caregiver) and a young family that demands attention, it's hard to maintain good self-care. And so I'm paying for it now.

I told the family yesterday, "I'm tired and irritable." That was a warning to dodge if you came near me. I didn't like being that way. Irked me. But - hey - at least I was honest about it. Honesty gave me permission to take better care of me. And that's a foreign habit - taking better care of myself AND honesty about my well being . BUT I better work on it - who else is going to care for me?

Last night I slept horribly. Ugh. Each time the AC came on it would do so with a jolt, waking me. Today? I rested half the day (minus the meeting with the landscape guy and hearing the lawn blowers for an hour), so that I can have the energy and patience to entertain the kids after noon. It was the school district's "half day" today.

Right now? I'm pooped. Why? Well, the day was exhausting for sure. But I didn't help matters any. AFTER running the kids around from noon-5, going to Subway for lunch, ice skating for school fundraiser, and DQ for Blizzards, I cooked dinner and banana bread. In fact, I'm waiting for the banana bread to finish right now. At 9:11 pm. I should be in bed. You see, taking good care of myself is a foreign habit.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support!

Living in fear is working hard not to lose in the end. Living by faith is knowing I will win in the end. A faithful life is a free one. A fearful life is a defeated one. - Me

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