Wednesday, August 8, 2012

19 Weeks, 4 Days - I don't appear wiped out, but I feel it.

I enjoy the freedom of summer vacation! I love spending time with the kids without stressing over bedtime, getting ready for school, getting to school on time, homework, projects, violin, clean clothes, lunches made, tests, social drama, etc.

Today, the kids went back to school.

And, I prepared myself for this day - and the kids too. I really did! So I thought... One kid decided she didn't like the outfit she set out the night before so she had to pass on breakfast in order to get to the bus on time, another kid "forgot" to groom, and still another decided to play hide and seek.

I stressed...Darn it!... I tried not to. I really did.

I am exhausted yet grateful to be able to have the stamina to make it through "Back to School" week, including "Meet the Teacher" nights and Open House. Lots of crowds, lots of germs. My body is weak, yet I remained healthy enough, alert and clear-headed (that may be questionable) to do all that.
My hair is falling out more, which is probably reflective of the week. The hair-loss thing bothers my oldest daughter; it gives her the creeps to see my hair all on my clothes.  My hair is - was - super, duper thick. So, no one really notices how much it has thinned. My hair doesn't break off or anything; the strands painlessly fall out by the roots. You can see it - the hair bulb - at the end of the strand.

I don't appear wiped out, but I feel it. I ain't gonna lie - Theraflu and ibuprofen have been welcomed companions this week. I wouldn't have gotten the rest I needed without it.

Anyway, just wanted to report how blessed I am to accomplish what I have under the stress, urgency, transition, and readjustment this time of year provokes. Parents of growing children may be able to relate.
[I'm grateful I hadn't contracted any serious virus or infection (LOL! Other than the one I'm being treated for!). I mean, life has been a bit crazy these past couple of weeks. And it is so hot (and humid) this time of year. It's a wonder that I'm not on antibiotics (And praise God for that!). ]
Thank you Lord for your perfect timing - that I was finished with the harsh teleprevir drug before this season of life hit. I can't imagine being able to shop for school clothes, or gather school supplies, or attend the back to school nights, if I was still on telaprevir.

As I said earlier, I'm exhausted, yet I had the mental AND physical capability to do what's necessary. (My mind said, "Let's do this!" And my body said, "For real?... Oh all right then, but don't push it!")

I'm more and more aware of my limitations and accepting them. I strive to take good care of myself. For example, I notice I sit at most every opportunity. If I can't sit, I lean against a wall or something. This helps.

My 20 week checkup is Thursday. I expect to remain an "undie" unless something real-funky-crazy happens. But, I wouldn't be surprised if I have to inject Neupogen or Procrit to stimulate blood cell growth. I have worn my self down these past 4 weeks. I've been pretty active, considering the circumstances.

Life. It's all good. Call me weird, but I am content. It's nice not to feel as powerless as the first 3 and 1/2 months. This journey is so good for me, in so many unwritten ways. GOD is Good...

Living in fear is working hard not to lose in the end. Living by faith is knowing I will win in the end. A faithful life is a free one. A fearful life is a defeated one. - Me


  1. Glad you feeling better. I wanted to say it earlier, but got distracted. Check your Theraflu. Is it contains Sudafed? You mentioning rapid heart rate. Sudafed will do it, so as many other medications that contain Pseudoephedrine and some other cold and flu preparations. Caffeine and B complex can do that too, as much as some other medications. How often do you get those heart sides? Thank you.

    1. Thanks for checking in on me! I've noticed my rapid heart rate is correlated with a stressful day. I just gotta get more rest and drink water. When I let up on one or both of those things, my heart seems to race (mostly at night while at rest...).