I miss my spunk and I'm tired of being tired.
What will life be like now?
Not if I can help it.
I don't expect a perfect life, though I would love for my life to be one that is guaranteed to be pain-free. I mean, I wish that IF ONLY I "did life right," "followed the rules," kept a healthy diet, never missed taking my meds, prayed every single moment over every single thing, forgave, asked for forgiveness, loved, served, gave, healed...THEN that I could expect a happy outcome and a pain-free life.
Oh well. Time to wake up. The fantasy is over, Shellie. That's just not how it is, not how it can be, nor how it ever will be on this side of heaven.
Today, I'm "free" from the bondage of treatment. By faith, I'm "free" from the bondage of this virus. However, all this "freedom" doesn't guarantee me a pain-free life. I've learned that (I'm still learning that...).
What I do have is increased peace and a confidence that - though I can't stop a storm from coming (nor trauma, tragedy, or loss) and can't control the immediate effects of it (pain, confusion, fear, doubt, loneliness, powerlessness), I CAN get through them and heal from them.
That's peace. That's contentment. That, I have. Nothing can take that away, unless I give it up. ...AND THAT - giving up peace and contentment - ain't happenin'.
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass
...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
- Vivian Greene
I don't believe my time on this earth is near it's end (though no one can know for sure). Nonetheless, the words of the great Apostle Paul speak to me: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."