Monday, May 14, 2012

7 weeks, 2 days - I Thought I Was Getting Used to It...

For the past couple of weeks I had been feeling great!  My head was clear. No fog or heaviness. And I had extra energy!  I was exercising at a decent intensity, I was pretty clear in the head, I was moving around quickly, light-footed, hopping up the stairs, being silly with the kids, less napping, more chatting, and spending more quality time with my hubby...

It was the closest I had felt to normal since the first week of treatment.  It was AWESOME!  My blood counts were looking decent too.  So decent that my docs increased my meds (the Pegasus, specifically)!  This is good news because the more chemo my body can handle now, the increased likelihood that the virus will not return once the treatment ends.

I was getting used to it all.  I really was.  So I thought.
Until now...

Today was different. And the day before, and the day before that... Since last Wednesday, my heaviness and fog began to return.  BOO!!! I'm starting to see a pattern forming, I think.  It seems to come on around my menstrual cycle.  I'm gonna keep an eye on that to see if it remains true.

During this period, my blood counts have dropped too low. My docs have reduced my meds (the Pegasus AND Ribavirin).  And they have prescribed both Neupogen (I'm familiar with this one.) and Procrit (This one is new.  It is also an inject-able like the Neupogen.  The Procrit is to raise my hemoglobin (red blood cells.).

So, today, I am exhausted, though I keep on trucking (like the Energizer bunny, but in slow motion).  I'm grateful for this morning though.  Hubby took me to breakfast at the Good Egg while the kids were in school.  After we got home all my body wanted to do was crawl back in bed.  But my will wanted to visit with Bertrand (that's my hubby).  So I did.  Well, not really.  The body won. I ended up sleeping most of that time.

At this time, I'm still feeling heavy, fogged, out of breath, woozy, exhausted, slow-thinking...but can still drive and walk around and - blog.  I'm grateful for that much.

I'm trying not to get too frustrated over this, though I snapped at one child yesterday and wanted to throw a ball through the wall the day before.  I had a really bad headache.  Really bad.  Angry bad.

;-)  Just keeping it real...

No headache today.  Praise God!  Maybe it's because I'm loaded with Theraflu. I honestly don't care why.  Just glad I don't have that good-for-nothin' headache, for now.

Hopefully, I'll be feeling better tomorrow.  If not, hopefully the next day.

Meanwhile, I'm grateful for the day I'm in. That's all I got.  That's all that's promised.

Living in fear is working hard not to lose in the end. Living by faith is knowing I will win in the end. A faithful life is a free one. A fearful life is a defeated one. - Me


  1. Love you sisat!~ continue to pray for you - please let me know what i can do =

    1. You've done more than I could ever ask or imagine.

  2. We are with you my neice!!!! Love you soooooooo much and praying for you EVERYDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Bless you for that! Your prayers are felt! I feel so special!

  3. Shellie, I am hoping for the best possible outcome for you. Brenda Nichols

  4. Shellie, I know that the ups and downs are awful, and sometimes brutal, but you have such a wonderful outlook about the treatment. I call the ups and downs of treatment hills and valleys. I rejoice when he is on the hill and read and relax next to him as he sleeps through the valleys. I am keeping you in my prayers as you make the journey to free your body of HepC.

    1. Thank you Lynette, I am comforted by your words.